Are You a Player or a Spectator?

By Paco Arespacohaga

At an early age, I learned that only 10 people (max) could play basketball at any given time. The rest will have to sit in the sideline or on the bleachers. They’re called spectators. The people on the court are called players. My dad, who was an avid sportsman, would always ask me if I was a player or a spectator. I remained silent. Playing sports wasn’t my thing. I did play sports but I was mediocre at it. I was better off being a spectator. But I had to please my dad.

In my mind, his question reverberated my thoughts… repeatedly I asked, “am I a player or am I just a spectator?” I was nobody at school. I was certainly not Mr. Popular. But I really refused to be a spectator. I was determined to find my voice, to find my calling, to find what I was good at and to really be good at it!

People close to me were really pigeon holing me to be a spectator, to remain on the sidelines. I REFUSED! (So should you if you’re in this place right now!)

I found refuge in music. I knew it was what I wanted to do. I told my parents I was going to pursue it and be a “player”. It was my calling! They gave me their blessing. As a matter of fact, my mother tried to be in every show I ever had up until the day she died. My father supported me in silence. After he passed on, I learned from a lot of people that my father would keep stock of my CDs in his car, randomly asking his peers or friends of his peers if they knew a musician named “Paco Arespacochaga”. Whether the answer was a “yes” or a “no”, he’d proudly hand over a poster of my band and a CD and claim, “the drummer of that band is MY son!”

I made a living being a musician. I was a player. I was in my playing field and I played the game well. I had many spectators. Moreover, they were called supporters or followers. They supported my body of work and I showed them how grateful I was. I still am!

But the lesson I learned from my father’s question was priceless. It became the gauge to whatever endeavor it was I was trying to achieve or accomplish. In everything I did, the question was clear, was I going to be a player or a spectator?

As a lover, as a father, as a husband, as a brother, as a musician, as a friend and as a person, I have to be a PLAYER. I can never just sit in the sideline. I HAVE TO PLAY!

Make it a great day!