You Are Not Who Your Parents Were

A lot of you may be living the life you had planned out for yourselves. Many of you didn’t have to struggle to get away from the shadow of your parents. Maybe most of you never had to bother with who your parents were, that you just slipped in easily to who you are right now.

However, some of us had to live up to our parents’ expectations. Some of us had to struggle with the pseudo ghost of our parents’ accomplishments and reputations. I know for a fact that some of us have to subconsciously fill big shoes that our parents prepped for us. But most of us also want to be our own person with our own identity.

Why shouldn’t I be allowed to be me?

Here are 4 points that will help you find yourself:

Know thyself – Most of us never leave the shadow of our parents’ success or failure for one simple reason. And that’s because we haven’t found out who we are yet. While most of us are really struggling to find ourselves, some of us have simply developed a case of complacency that eats up our identity every single day.

Embrace thyself – Consider this your “point of origin.” This is the acceptance stage. And don’t get me wrong here. You and I must start somewhere. Denying who you are or what you are won’t get you anywhere. Once you’ve realized who you are and what you’re capable of, embrace it no matter how close (or unclose) your sense of self is, compared to your parents.

Develop thyself – By now, you should be under the impression that you are UNIQUE! Even if your parents are doctors, you don’t have to be one, IF YOU DON’T WANT TO! But now that you know who you are and have accepted your traits and abilities, develop it! Enjoy your abilities and use them. Sharpen those skills that are rightfully yours. Who cares if your dad is the best drummer in the world? If you love math, blaze away through all those algebraic expressions! Who’s to stop you from doing that?

Share thyself – The first three pointers definitely help boost your confidence. When you share who you are, and what you’re made of, with family, friends, community and everyone else -- fulfillment occurs. After experiencing this, more revelations about who you are will start to appear. Then you’re back to the first step!

As easy as it may sound, implementing such a process is not. There will be objections from parents, friends, family members, lovers, spouses and yourself. And the reason they object is because they only want the best for you because they “know” you. But if you let them know, feel and understand that you “KNOW” yourself more than they do you, then it will be easy for you to overcome these objections.

Remember, you are not who your parents were. And you only have one life to live. Live it!

- Paco Arespacochaga

My Commitment

At the very least, I promise to update my blog as often as I update my weekly column.

How to Be a Failure in Life!

We’ve probably read news articles and even self-help books on how to succeed in life. We’ve probably bought and downloaded various self-help audio books as well.

We’ve attended seminars and have vowed to even follow through with what we’ve learned. Yet, somehow, there are still a few of us who are unable to really succeed in life.

Maybe, there are some of us who really don’t want to succeed. Maybe, some of us really want to fail. If you want to fail in life, I’ve listed some tips on how you can be one.

1. Don’t Listen or Pay Attention – Keep doing what you think is right and NEVER listen to anyone for advise. If you get an undesired result, don’t change what your doing. Keep doing it the same way so that you always get the SAME undesired result. The key is consistency.
2. Don’t Prepare – This is a key component in achieving failure status. When going on a vacation, you do not want to prepare for the trip. When you’re working on a project, you do not want to do some preparatory research. When going on a sales call, you do not want to do pre-planning. In order to FAIL, you have to take the first step REGARDLESS of direction. It’s important to NOT understand the value of “preparedness”.
3. Make Everything All About Yourself – In order to fail, you MUST learn the art of alienating people. Your friends and supporters are a hindrance in your quest for the ultimate mastery of failing. These people, who go out of their way and of their day, only give you words of wisdom. Words of wisdom have NO PLACE in the world of failure.
4. Dwell On the Past – Another important element one must master in order to be a failure is the ability to dwell on the past. You must internalize all the disappointments you’ve experienced over time and dwell on them. Don’t let go of these disappointments. You will need to cling on every bad experience in order to help you develop the fear of moving on. You should not let go of the past. If you do, you will lose the foundation of being a failure.
5. Do Not Blame Yourself at All Cost – Never put the blame on yourself. You are NOT responsible for anything. You must blame your parents, friends, relatives, government, church, dog… anything or anybody! But never blame yourself. If you ever feel tempted to acknowledge any mistake… your hopes of becoming a failure will be in vain. Blame it on the rain!
6. There are Only Excuses, Not Solutions – Failures know these by heart and live by the dogma that excuses rule their lives. You must understand that Solutions are mythical and do not exist in the world of Failures. Successful people invented Solutions during the war between “Success and Failure” before the dawn of time.

As you journey toward the road of fail, don’t bring a map. Do not even attempt to know where it begins or where it ends. However, if you do reach the ultimate status of failure, know for a fact that you’ve “succeed”!

Good luck on your journey…

If You Think It’s Good Enough, Give It Away!

I may have said this before but I’ll say it again, nevertheless. If what you have is good enough, and you’re confident other people will appreciate it, give it away and let them try it “risk free”.

I’m not talking about “free estimates” or “free consultations”. I’m talking about an actual product or service that you are willing to give away or let your potential clients try out, RISK FREE! Okay, this is the part where most of you, businesspeople, are going to go “what!?!”

But hear me out here. Unless, you’re the only one in the world carrying a certain “widget” or “service” that people are willing to die for, you’re going to have to stand out against your competition, bad boy! And if you’re the new kid on the block, why are customers going to risk trying you out?

The goal of giving “it” away is to take away the risk factor. The goal here is to create a non-defensive attitude. The goal is to get your potential clients in the door. People in business call this the “loss leader”. And it is. And yes, there is a great benefit for having a “loss leader” in whatever it is that you do. You want people to latch on to something without them losing anything, except time. If your product or service is good enough, they will stick and stay with you.

So what does this have to do with people who are not in business or who do not have anything to sell? A lot! As a matter of fact, as cliché as it sounds, this practice falls under the “it is better to give, than to receive” category. And rightly so, marketing consultants have seen its value during the recession.

And because this article comes out in time for Valentine’s day, don’t we all do this to our significant others? Don’t we give them something… risk free? Don’t we pay for this and don’t we spend for that? Yes we do! And always, we get something BETTER in return, whether we expect it or not.

It doesn’t matter if it’s business or personal, if you believe that what you have is good enough, give it away! Don’t hold back! It might look like a “loss leader” but the return on investment will always outperform the initial cost of providing that “loss leader”, hands down.

Think about it and have a great day.

7 Reasons Why Your Business Needs an Online Presence

7 Reasons Why Your Business Needs an Online Presence