You Are Not Who Your Parents Were

A lot of you may be living the life you had planned out for yourselves. Many of you didn’t have to struggle to get away from the shadow of your parents. Maybe most of you never had to bother with who your parents were, that you just slipped in easily to who you are right now.

However, some of us had to live up to our parents’ expectations. Some of us had to struggle with the pseudo ghost of our parents’ accomplishments and reputations. I know for a fact that some of us have to subconsciously fill big shoes that our parents prepped for us. But most of us also want to be our own person with our own identity.

Why shouldn’t I be allowed to be me?

Here are 4 points that will help you find yourself:

Know thyself – Most of us never leave the shadow of our parents’ success or failure for one simple reason. And that’s because we haven’t found out who we are yet. While most of us are really struggling to find ourselves, some of us have simply developed a case of complacency that eats up our identity every single day.

Embrace thyself – Consider this your “point of origin.” This is the acceptance stage. And don’t get me wrong here. You and I must start somewhere. Denying who you are or what you are won’t get you anywhere. Once you’ve realized who you are and what you’re capable of, embrace it no matter how close (or unclose) your sense of self is, compared to your parents.

Develop thyself – By now, you should be under the impression that you are UNIQUE! Even if your parents are doctors, you don’t have to be one, IF YOU DON’T WANT TO! But now that you know who you are and have accepted your traits and abilities, develop it! Enjoy your abilities and use them. Sharpen those skills that are rightfully yours. Who cares if your dad is the best drummer in the world? If you love math, blaze away through all those algebraic expressions! Who’s to stop you from doing that?

Share thyself – The first three pointers definitely help boost your confidence. When you share who you are, and what you’re made of, with family, friends, community and everyone else -- fulfillment occurs. After experiencing this, more revelations about who you are will start to appear. Then you’re back to the first step!

As easy as it may sound, implementing such a process is not. There will be objections from parents, friends, family members, lovers, spouses and yourself. And the reason they object is because they only want the best for you because they “know” you. But if you let them know, feel and understand that you “KNOW” yourself more than they do you, then it will be easy for you to overcome these objections.

Remember, you are not who your parents were. And you only have one life to live. Live it!

- Paco Arespacochaga