How to Be a Failure in Life!

We’ve probably read news articles and even self-help books on how to succeed in life. We’ve probably bought and downloaded various self-help audio books as well.

We’ve attended seminars and have vowed to even follow through with what we’ve learned. Yet, somehow, there are still a few of us who are unable to really succeed in life.

Maybe, there are some of us who really don’t want to succeed. Maybe, some of us really want to fail. If you want to fail in life, I’ve listed some tips on how you can be one.

1. Don’t Listen or Pay Attention – Keep doing what you think is right and NEVER listen to anyone for advise. If you get an undesired result, don’t change what your doing. Keep doing it the same way so that you always get the SAME undesired result. The key is consistency.
2. Don’t Prepare – This is a key component in achieving failure status. When going on a vacation, you do not want to prepare for the trip. When you’re working on a project, you do not want to do some preparatory research. When going on a sales call, you do not want to do pre-planning. In order to FAIL, you have to take the first step REGARDLESS of direction. It’s important to NOT understand the value of “preparedness”.
3. Make Everything All About Yourself – In order to fail, you MUST learn the art of alienating people. Your friends and supporters are a hindrance in your quest for the ultimate mastery of failing. These people, who go out of their way and of their day, only give you words of wisdom. Words of wisdom have NO PLACE in the world of failure.
4. Dwell On the Past – Another important element one must master in order to be a failure is the ability to dwell on the past. You must internalize all the disappointments you’ve experienced over time and dwell on them. Don’t let go of these disappointments. You will need to cling on every bad experience in order to help you develop the fear of moving on. You should not let go of the past. If you do, you will lose the foundation of being a failure.
5. Do Not Blame Yourself at All Cost – Never put the blame on yourself. You are NOT responsible for anything. You must blame your parents, friends, relatives, government, church, dog… anything or anybody! But never blame yourself. If you ever feel tempted to acknowledge any mistake… your hopes of becoming a failure will be in vain. Blame it on the rain!
6. There are Only Excuses, Not Solutions – Failures know these by heart and live by the dogma that excuses rule their lives. You must understand that Solutions are mythical and do not exist in the world of Failures. Successful people invented Solutions during the war between “Success and Failure” before the dawn of time.

As you journey toward the road of fail, don’t bring a map. Do not even attempt to know where it begins or where it ends. However, if you do reach the ultimate status of failure, know for a fact that you’ve “succeed”!

Good luck on your journey…