How Would You Like to Be Compared With Someone Else?

I was at a Barnes & Noble bookstore sipping coffee while reading a literary piece when some jewish kid approached me and asked me if I could keep an eye on his back pack while he used the rest room. I obliged and continued reading. Of course, my peripheral vision kept a watchful eye on whoever might want to take a beat up back pack. But I digress.

A couple of minutes later, the guy arrived to thank me. I mentioned that it wasn’t a problem at all. Then he asked me what I was reading. I told him that I was reading some book on how to sell by Jeffrey Gitomer. Of course he asked if I was a sales person. I gave him a revelation. I said “Just like everyone else in this world, so am I!” Intrigued, he sat down across from where I sat and asked me to expound on what I had just said.

I told him that I got paid to be in front of people. I told him that in my line of work, I looked for solutions to problems concerning small to medium size businesses. In other words, I am a consultant… a media consultant. And yes, I encourage clients to buy my solutions. Throwing back the question at him, he said that he helped out in his parents business and had just graduated from collage. He shared that his parents ran a vending machine business. He also mentioned that his parents had been running the business for the last 15 years and it had paid them handsomely! They did live in Beverly Hills.

Casually, I asked him if he was going to take over the business. His facial expression fell and quickly he said NO. When asked why, he simply said that it wasn’t what he really wanted to do. I asked him then what he wanted to do and with that he revealed that he was inclined to pursue anything that dealt with Neuro-Science and History. I asked him what was stopping him. It was his parents. And surprisingly enough, his answer didn’t surprise me but I prodded on. I found out that he has been very discouraged because his parents always compared him to other people.

“Why can’t you be like _____ who is now a doctor?”

“Why can’t you be like _____ who is now running the family business?”

“Why can’t you be _____ who is now an architect?”

I was all ears while he was pouring out all his emotions. Then after listening to everything he had to say, not knowing if he wanted me to react or not, I said something that made both of us reflect.

I told him that he had every right to feel bad about the fact that he was being compared with other people. No child wants to feel “second best” in their parents’ eyes. Let me say that again…

NO CHILD WANTS TO FEEL “SECOND BEST” IN THEIR PARENTS’ EYES!

I hope that was loud enough.
I then went on to tell him what I noticed about the business owners that I’ve come to meet over the years as media consultant. I told him that most of the successful business owners I’ve shook hands with are in the industry their in because it was what they wanted to do! It was their passion that brought about their career which ended up paying them handsomely!

I told him that if he loved science and history, there are many things that he can do. I even challenged him. I told him that I would like to see his “name in lights”, that I would like to watch him on the Science Channel or the Discovery Channel or even on NatGeo one day!

His face lit. I told him I was serious about what I said. He smiled. We talked some more about his passion. He shared some of the things he read on Albert Einstein and Pasquale and the historic time line of significant discoveries in Science. Then he stopped and looked me in the eye and asked…

“How about you… are you doing what you really want to do?”

I looked down and forced a smile. I took a deep breath and excused myself from the conversation.

In my head, I knew he had struck a chord in me. If he only knew who I was and what I had accomplished in my past life. If he only knew.