But a huge question still hangs over my head. Every so often, I catch myself rhetorically asking "do I like where I am?" and I don't recall giving a response. Sad.
And although I've mentioned earlier that I don't feel a tad older, I do feel tired. Physically... I'm good! Mentally, spiritually and emotionally... I'm spent, bent even!
I blame no one for where I am. On the contrary, I am embarrassed for dragging my loved ones to where I am now... "This Dark Place".
For a moment, I lost hope. I caught myself tolerating things I wouldn't have tolerated years ago. But that's because I've done things I never knew I would've done. Lame.
There is no way to change what has been done. But I've come to terms to deal with the consequences of my actions.
Yes, my nights have been worst than they were but it makes me appreciate the rare times I'm able to have a good night's rest.
As much as I would like to go on... all I know is that this whole chapter in my life is necessary for me to handle what I am about to go through.
No I'm not worried. Sad... yes. But it is what it is.
And like any other journey, there are days when the roads are wide and clear. And there are days when the roads are narrow and jammed. And then there are those days when traffic is just at a standstill and you wished you didn't have to be on the road at all. Such is life! And I've learned to accept and embrace its dynamic with a optimism and faith in the Almighty that all things are possible and that no one is beyond hope!
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