a Baby to a Boy… a Boy to a Man… a Man to His Legacy

by Paco Arespacochaga

I am blessed. As I look back to celebrate another year of my birth, I am reminded of what brought me here and am humbled by those who brought me here. And as I look forward to many more fruitful years, I am delighted to be surrounded by my wife and 2 boys.

I had the privilege of spending a month long vacation with my 13 year old son, Heaven. We talked, we laughed, we argued, we fought, we reasoned, we joked, we teased, we learned and we bonded. More than ever before, I am glad to have had the opportunity to spend quality time with him and share with him some insights. I am also grateful for the knowledge he had shared with me. Our music appreciation is intensely the same. Our type of music is different.

In between our time together, an 11 month old baby forces his way into our “bonding” time. He didn’t want to be left out. And neither I nor Heaven wanted to leave the little boy out of our bonding time either.

Caelen is Heaven’s younger brother, the last Arespacochaga from my Grandfather’s bloodline. He, like his brother before him, is also utterly inquisitive. Together, the three of us make one another laugh and smile in our own little way.

Looking at my two boys, I couldn’t help but feel proud that I was given an opportunity to be part of their lives.

As I watched Heaven play with Caelen and vice-versa, I was smitten and saddened by the thought that this year is their “turning point” year. As Caelen (11 months old) wrestled and interacted with Heaven (13 years old), there was sincere interest among both of them. And yet, their life agenda is very different.

For the next few years, Caelen will be on the road to discovering what it is like to be a boy. He’ll be learning how to interact with other children. He’ll be taking his first baby step pretty soon without anybody’s help. He’ll be putting words together to form his first sentence. He’ll cry less and talk more or maybe do both. He’ll master the art of walking and then learn to run. He’ll bruise his knees and challenge my authority. Soon, he’ll discover and learn what it’s like to be a boy.

Simultaneously, Heaven is walking the road to adolescence. Not yet a man, yet no longer a boy. He’s asking third level questions! He wants straight answers. He even knows the answers to his questions and only asks you to see if you know the answers too! He’s smart enough to play “dumb” yet still catches himself learning new things everyday. He likes girls now. He is aware of peer pressure. He now has more defined goals. College is something he wants to pursue. Playing video games, though still appealing, has now become a controllable urge. He can stay on the phone for hours talking to friends about “stuff”. Physically, he’s now taller, faster and more “manly”. He is also getting more conscious about his appearance, smell and overall look. Soon, he’ll discover and learn what it’s like to be a man.

Someday, all of these will come to pass. Still, I continuously pray that I be given the opportunity to be around my boys and their children. I, too, have a lot to learn. And in spite of what I’ve learned over the years, the fact remains that I do not know much.

One thing I do know now is that my legacy need not be based on the personal awards and accomplishments that I have achieved or will achieve. Nor has it been based on my financial net worth. I look at my two children and in them lies my legacy. How I raise them inside with principles and how those principles manifest in them will determine how long I shall live even after I am gone. And nothing is more important than equipping my children a lasting positive impression that will carry them wherever they go and whoever they’re with. I have come to realize that above my dreams of becoming this and that, I already AM… a husband and a father!