Don't Be Afraid to Ask

You may have been conditioned as child NOT to ask strangers for anything. You may have been made to believe that asking is often times inappropriate. You may have been made to believe a lot of negative things related to asking.  

One thing I do know is that if you don't ask, you will never know.

And whether this is in regard to love, life, doubts, self doubt and everything else around you, asking is still better than assuming.

Maybe, the thought of knowing the truth makes you reluctant in asking. But then, wouldn't that be better than living in an assumptive environment? Another reason for not asking is probably the fear of rejection.

Listen, when you ask a person for something, the worst thing that person can say to you is "no". And that's okay.

By the way, if you don't know how to ask, start your sentence with:  May I... or Can you...

"May I ask you help me carry this box?"

"Can you be honest and tell me if there's something wrong with us?"

Go!  Fumble!  Discover!

Have a great weekend ahead of you! And don't forget to leave your thoughts in the "comments" box.

7 Things to Consider Before Considering a Divorce

Maybe you're going through a crisis in your marriage right now.  Maybe you think bailing out of the marriage is the only solution to your marital woes.  And maybe, divorce is really the best option for you right now.  I get it!  But before you jump the gun on getting a divorce, I would like you to consider these 7 things...


1. Is Your Marriage Repairable - I have friends who have a habit of buying a new fan or microwave oven when their current one gets damaged or when it isn't working properly.  I really think its a waste of money for them to just hastily replace the damaged one with a new one.  How could they not consider having any of these appliances repaired? Is it because it has become a habit?

Can you imagine if you treated your marriage the same way?  That would be bad!  With this, I would really encourage all of you to ask yourselves if your marriage is repairable.

 2. Take a Step Back and Think Hard - Again, why are you rushing through things?  Take a step back and think things through.  If, at the end of your reflective moment you still feel like going through a divorce is the only option, then go ahead.  The point is simply for you to be able to tell yourself that you were never hasty about it.

3. Can You Afford to Live On One Income - If you and your spouse have a two income lifestyle, I want you to consider that things are going to change when you file for divorce.  Be aware that you may never be able to afford paying monthly payments to your luxury car or the monthly dues to your country club membership.  This doesn't mean you should stay married for financial reasons.  Just be aware that going through a divorce will impact your finances... big time.

4. Be Aware That You Will Experience a Life Change - If you were a housewife, you'll probably have to go to school or get a job on the side.  Or maybe you have a degree but because of your current situation, you may now have to get a higher degree to get a better paying job.

5. Seek Professional Help - By going to a marriage counselor.  C'mon!  What have you got to lose?  If you're still determined to file for a divorce, do it after you've exhausted all of your options.  No one's gonna stop you anyway.  But at least you can tell yourself you've tried everything in the book.

6. How Will the Children Take the Divorce - Children are better at coping with life changes more than what we think they're capable of.  Of course, you don't want your children to be exposed to domestic violence and all that crap but, again, if the marriage is repairable and all options haven't been exhausted, for the children's sake... take your time and make sure divorce is the only solution.

7. Shop Wisely for Good Representation - There are plenty of family law attorneys but most of them are just in it for the money.  Some could actually care less about your situation and what you're trying to accomplish.  To others, you're just a number.  That's bad!  Can you imagine paying $300/hour only to find out that your lawyer wasn't really paying close attention to your case..

Getting a divorce is a very tough decision.  And it's also a big one.   So before you jump right into it. Please make sure that you can honestly tell yourself you've done all you can to fix your marriage but it still wasn't effective and that divorce is the only solution.

7 Things To Consider Before Going On a Second Date!

It's close to Valentine's day and you're getting anxious.  Guys have invited you to go out with them but you don't know whom to pick.

But for some of you, you're still waiting for that guy to ask you out.

Whether it's an act of desperation or excitement, here are a few things to consider before you say "yes" to a guy on a second date.

1. Are You Still Interested? - This is probably the most important question you should ask yourself when considering the idea of going out with a guy on the second date.  I mean, if your first date was a "poof", why even bother to go for seconds, right?

If you decide to say YES, please don't expect too much.

2. Do You Have Anything to Do? - Because chances are, you're probably just bored!  Or maybe, you really don't have plans for the night which is why you probably even entertained the idea of going out with someone you're not really fond of.

Be honest with yourself about this.  The last thing you want is to go out with a guy your really don't like and end up listening to the sounds of crickets!

3.  Was He Even Fun to Be With? - Because if he wasn't fun at all the first time around, what makes you think the second date would be better?  Do not fool yourself!  Recall if the first date got you looking at your watch, your phone or all around because your date wasn't that engaging.

Dates are supposed to be FUN!  If he wasn't fun the first time around, he won't be fun the second time around.  Move on!

4.  Chivalry Is NOT Dead - Unless the dude you went out on a date with treated you like shit!  If he did, why even bother going out for date #2?  You'd be nuts to even consider it.  See, if the guy didn't even open doors for you or at least covered the tab for you... DON'T give him another opportunity!

5.  Does He Like You? - Was he interested in you?  Why would he want to go out with you and why would you even bother accepting his invite if he wasn't even interested in you.  Some guys just like talking about themselves and may have found you to be a "good listener".  And now he wants to invite you out because he felt good about you nodding your head in agreement to him the first time around.  Don't give this dufus another chance!

6.  Did He Even Value the First Date? - If the guy simply "winged" the first date and made no effort to make the first date impressive, to say the least... why even bother to go for seconds.  Drop it and move on.  It's not gonna be worth it!

7.  Are You Comfortable With the Plans?  - Is he gonna take you to a deserted place?  Are you gonna make out or smoke pot?  Are you down with his plans?

Girl, you have to know what you're gonna get yourself into.  It's the second date and you guys aren't really exclusive yet so there shouldn't be any surprises at this point.  It's all about "getting to know" each other and part of this is knowing what the plan for the evening is.

The bottom line is you shouldn't have to say "yes" to second dates like you owe every guy something and that we, as men, are entitled to it.

We have to make a good impression on the first date so that you, or every girl that went out on a first date, would want to give us a shot at another date without any hesitation.