Teaching Your Children To Make Choices

I have 3 boys and a girl.  Well, let me rephrase that.  I have a man, two boys and a little girl.  As a father, my job is to raise these kids to be good men and women of society.  And just yesterday, my first born, Heaven, turned 19.  How time flies.

Heaven lives with me, here in Los Angeles.  Yesterday, I asked him what he wanted to do for his birthday.  He said he wanted to drive to his mom's house, which was about 45 miles/72 Kilometers away.  And since he now drives his own car, he politely asked me if it was okay to celebrate his birthday with his mom's side of the family.  I had no problems with that.  And what made me even proud was the fact that he had made the decision for himself.

And that's what everything boiled down to... decision making.  Was it good judgement on his part to spend his birthday with his mom?  Absolutely.  My son lives with me.  He doesn't get to see his mom as often as he wants.  Yesterday's plan was perfect.

I've read Tony Robbins say that "Good judgement comes from experience.  Experience comes from bad judgement."  And in order to come up with "judgement", one has to make a decision.  And decision making comes with maturity.  So get into the hang of it.

Make decisions on a regular basis.  The more you do, the better you will become.

If You Think It’s Good Enough, Give It Away!

I may have said this before but I’ll say it again, nevertheless. If what you have is good enough, and you’re confident other people will appreciate it, give it away and let them try it “risk free”.

I’m not talking about “free estimates” or “free consultations”. I’m talking about an actual product or service that you are willing to give away or let your potential clients try out, RISK FREE! Okay, this is the part where most of you, businesspeople, are going to go “what!?!”

But hear me out here. Unless, you’re the only one in the world carrying a certain “widget” or “service” that people are willing to die for, you’re going to have to stand out against your competition, bad boy! And if you’re the new kid on the block, why are customers going to risk trying you out?

The goal of giving “it” away is to take away the risk factor. The goal here is to create a non-defensive attitude. The goal is to get your potential clients in the door. People in business call this the “loss leader”. And it is. And yes, there is a great benefit for having a “loss leader” in whatever it is that you do. You want people to latch on to something without them losing anything, except time. If your product or service is good enough, they will stick and stay with you.

So what does this have to do with people who are not in business or who do not have anything to sell? A lot! As a matter of fact, as cliché as it sounds, this practice falls under the “it is better to give, than to receive” category. And rightly so, marketing consultants have seen its value during the recession.

And because this article comes out in time for Valentine’s day, don’t we all do this to our significant others? Don’t we give them something… risk free? Don’t we pay for this and don’t we spend for that? Yes we do! And always, we get something BETTER in return, whether we expect it or not.

It doesn’t matter if it’s business or personal, if you believe that what you have is good enough, give it away! Don’t hold back! It might look like a “loss leader” but the return on investment will always outperform the initial cost of providing that “loss leader”, hands down.

Think about it and have a great day.

To Fish or Not to Fish

I’ve been helped and have helped. I’ve helped other people and have been helped by other people as well. I’ve benefited from all of the help I’ve received and I’ve felt blessed being able to help others that are also in need.


However, the one thing I’ve found to have been really beneficial to both me and whomever it was that’s helped me was the time spent to have taught me how to fish. And I’ve had quite a handful of “life fishing” lessons from people who took the time to show me the ropes and have taught me the rudiments to fish for my own food and to be able to be good at it so that I can then teach other people how to “fish” till they get good at it.


However, like many of you who have loved ones, we can get crazy and passionate in helping them that we tend to “fish” on their behalf. Instead of showing and teaching them how to cast a net, we set out to sea ourselves and feed them with our own catch. And there's no problem with that... until you're taking away from your own family's catch. But that’s our "nurture" instinct, specially toward other people who also matter to us. But does it truly help them? And does it truly help you?


Most of the time, the people who've ask for help and support aren’t the most sensitive about issues their "fishermen" are having. For example, in the past, I’d go ask for help from any of my aunts without conscious regard if they were capable of helping me or not at that specific moment. And sometimes, I'd feel bad if they couldn't spare me a "fish" or two. (how selfish!)


I would remind whoever that was helping me that they “committed” to fish for me! (was I even entitled?) I didn’t even care if that person was even in good shape to “fish” for me. It was all for my benefit at the expense of other people. It was their fault if they disappointed me. (how absurd!)


Falling face flat on the ground a decade ago made me realize that I had to learn how to fish for myself. I had to be a fisherman and not a mere consumer of someone else’s catch. I realized that the more I “set out to sea” to acquire my own catch, the more other “fishermen” were willing to help me out.


It wasn’t long until I had “seasoned” fishermen teaching me better principles on HOW TO FISH and how to multiply my catch exponentially. I earned the respect of others and I felt good about myself. I counted my blessings and have shared them as well. And it has been better, both for me and the person that I've helped. The result always yields a different kind of pride.


Now stop for a moment and think about where you are in the sea of life. Are you by the shore, waiting for the fishing boat to set in so that you can ASK (not buy) for some catch. Or are you out there with the rest of the fishermen, casting your net and taking home your own catch no matter how little… no matter how great?


Enjoy the week!


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Photo by Andy Zapata Jr.

Philippine Government Officials and Employees Should Be Paid MORE!

Did you ever wonder why the middle class in the United States can't afford live-in housemaids? It's because they CANNOT AFFORD TO HIRE A HOUSEMAID FULL TIME! The average salary of part time house maid is 18,000 US dollars a year! And the only major services you're going to get are laundry and house cleaning.

A "yaya" or a nanny's average annual salary in the US is roughly around $34,000 a year. And that's only for 8 hours a day taking care of the baby you brought into this world, while your at work making a little bit over the same amount of money! In the Philippines.

These people are in the business of making your life more convenient. As such, they should be compensated for making it so. People who cannot afford these kind of convenience LEARN how to complete tasks such as cleaning their own room, their own house, cooking their own food, washing their own clothes, ironing and folding their own laundry. These traits translate to developing a better YOU. Why do you think Juan Tamad couldn't live outside the Philippines? I've never heard of "Joe Lazy".

And if you haven't heard or read it, there is a popular quote that states "a lazy mind is devil's workshop".

I digress.

I do believe, however, that giving our government officials and employees a "middle class" kind of income will somehow veer them away from the temptations of corruption. Everything begins with respect. People want to be respected or at least that's how they want to "feel". A more than decent salary becomes the beginning of this. There shouldn't be any shame for a police officer to be able to afford to live in a nice house, in a nice neighborhood all because his salary has permitted him to. Remember, his life is on the line a third of his day. Always. The same pay increase should be given to Postal Office, Fire, Utilities, Secretaries of... and their department employees and to everyone in government! This will keep corruption low!

In regard to corruption: I've always wondered why we haven't given enough to our public officials?

Don't get me wrong, corruption will always be around. It will always reside in the mindset of people who have lived it.

But when we give enough to a government employee (president included), it would really make it embarrassing to catch them cheating on taxpayers' money.

Take for instance the starting salary of being a police officer in the Philippines, which is about P14,265 per month inclusive of allowances or roughly around P171,180 a year. That's $3,804 a year! Why would I put my life on the line for $3,804 a year!?! In the rural parts of the US, where there are more trees than houses, a new police officer earns P142,500 a month! Or roughly over a million pesos a year! And that's the starting pay. Not convinced? Google it!

No wonder our cops find other creative ways to make more money. For the love of God, a call center employee in metro manila makes around the same amount, IF NOT MORE, when they start their job!

I don't want to know how much our government admin employees make. And our president's salary, which is only P60,000 a month, is a joke as well!

But then again, the question is "where are we going to get the funding to pay our leader, goverment officials and government workers REAL salary if the money is being funneled elsewhere by means of corruption?"

The answer is in all of us. Change in mindset then becomes the ultimate solution to this problem. Now, every new politician, rich or poor... can invest his time, money, intellect and efforts on making his country and its people better and still be able to go home and feed his family.

At this level, if you pay someone enough for PUBLIC SERVICE and he steals more money, then we, the Filipino People, can truly call that Government official a SELFISH BASTARD!

Even the Saddest Story Should Have a Happy Ending

My life isn't perfect!

Yet, I have the perfect life! And this is clearly by choice.

In spite of everything that had happened in the past, now is when they all come to fruition. Changing any one component of the past will alter my "now". Why would I want to do that? Fortunately, and unfortunately, changing my current "now" will alter my future "now"! Now I may want to do that!

I say this because even the saddest story deserves a happy ending. I guess the question is whether you become the main character that everybody cheers on or the villain that everybody wishes were dead or driven away.

Still, at the end of each story... hope and high spirits must thrive.

Did INTRoVOYS Sell Out?

No.

I wish answering the question was as easy as saying “no”. However, some records need to be set straight every decade or at least at some point within a new decade or else it will distort INTRoVOYS’ legacy.

I went straight to the Internet to get a definition of “Sell Out” that is in context to what I want to set straight. Here is what I got. Selling Out is defined as “to give up or surrender in exchange for a price or reward”.

I was 15 years old when I started INTRoVOYS with my friends. We all had one goal in mind and that was to write and play the music we liked and EARNED a living doing it! And guess what… we did it! And then what happened, pundits accused us of SELLING OUT!

I’ll tell you what. People around the time we were starting out wanted us to be something we didn’t want to be. We decided to be stubborn and moved on. Even our then manager, Tommy Tanchanco, had the same goal at the time. He, too, was accused of SELLING OUT!

Clear evidence of us doing what we want to do was the fact that we decided to call it quits when we weren’t enjoying what we were doing anymore. HAD we continued to perform against our will or simply because of the money, then we would have conceded to SELLING OUT.

Until then, I will not bow down to anybody that accuses me or any of my bandmates of selling out. The fact of the matter is… people who say this about us are STUCKED UP – but that’s another definition in another blog.

Have a great day!